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One of my daughters used to come to me as a toddler and say, “In the air,
Daddy, in the air!” She wanted me to hurl her in the air and catch her,
so I would, to her utter delight. My other daughter saw this once and
asked me to toss her too. As she leveled off just below our ten-foot
ceiling, her face contorted into sheer terror. And when I caught her,
she clung to me--with all four limbs--like a cat clawing a log on a raging
river. “No, Daddy! Not again!” she begged. Later I thought about why the
same flight produced joy to one and terror to the other. I realized one
focused on my ability to catch her, and the other focused on her inability
to control the flight.
As my children grow and develop more independence, I find myself in a
similar scenario. I still see them hurled high in the air, but instead of me
doing the throwing and catching, God flings them while I watch helplessly
from a distance.
And the tension becomes a trust between God's abilities and my own. Old
Jacob dearly loved his sons--and one in particular. So when the sons
brought Joseph’s mocked-up bloody garment to their father, Jacob’s grief
exploded: “It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him; Joseph
has surely been torn to pieces!” (Genesis 37:33).
But in reality, the jealous brothers had sold Joseph as a slave, hoping to rid
themselves of the favorite son. Yet “The Lord was with Joseph” (39:2-5, 21;
41:38-39), and superintended all events in expectation of a great famine soon
to ravage the earth. Joseph rose to become Egypt’s second-in-command and
stored up grain in anticipation of the famine.
When Jacob heard of the grain in Egypt he sent his sons, “but Jacob did not
send Joseph’s brother Benjamin with his brothers, for he said, ‘I am afraid
that harm may befall him’” (Genesis 42:4). In Egypt the brothers did not
recognize Joseph, and the very thing Jacob would not release into God's
control, Joseph required before they could purchase more grain. When the
brothers reported to their father, Jacob clung to Benjamin like a cat clawing
a log on a raging river. “My son shall not go down with you; for his brother
is dead, and he alone is left. If harm should befall him on the journey you
are taking, then you will bring my gray hair down to the grave in sorrow”
(42:38).
Three decades earlier Jacob wrestled with God for control of his life, and
before God could bless Jacob, He had to cripple him. Now Jacob found
himself again wrestling with God, afraid to trust the Lord’s ability to catch
the child Jacob sees hurled in the air.
Every parched day of the famine, like straws loaded on a camel's back, finally
took their toll. "If it must be so,” Jacob conceded, “Take your brother also,
and arise, return to the man . . . And as for me, if I am bereaved of my
children, I am bereaved" (43:11, 13-14). The circumstances literally wrenched
Benjamin from Jacob’s arms and forced him to do what he would never do
otherwise: trust God with his sons.
John Calvin wrote of this passage: "From the example of Jacob let us learn
patient endurance, should the Lord often compel us, by pressure of
circumstances, to do many things contrary to the inclination of our own
minds; for Jacob sends away his son, as if he were delivering him over unto
death."
As I watch God toss my daughters in the air, I tend to focus on my inability to
control the flight as opposed to God's ability to catch them. I find a gnawing
conviction when I realize I would rather be in control than God when it comes
to my children.
Norman Schwarzkopf said: "The truth of the matter is that you always know
the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." We can hold nothing--not
even a child--as dear to ourselves as trust in God. If God truly rules as
sovereign, our sons and daughters remain as safe “in harm’s way” as in their
beds at home. On the other hand, if God wants to call them to heaven before
us, a trip to the store will prove as mortal as serving on the front lines
of war.
As you pray, remember prayer is more than asking of God, but surrendering
to Him. You will seldom experience the peace you seek without surrendering
to God what you're praying to Him for. Ultimately our comfort cannot come
from an assurance God will protect our children. Our comfort comes from
trusting a God who remains in complete control for His good purposes even
in the worst of circumstances.
In the end, Jacob received not only Benjamin back but Joseph too. “I never
expected to see your face,” Jacob told Joseph, “and behold, God has let me
see your children as well” (48:11). Jacob seemed almost ashamed he ever
doubted God’s grace and sovereignty. Even though Jacob could not control
what happened to his son, the text repeatedly says “The Lord was with
Joseph,” and so God is with our children while apart from us.
As our Marines remain “Always Faithful,” our Heavenly Father must find us
the same--faithfully trusting His wise, sovereign, and good plans above
our own need for control.
Dr. Wayne Stiles
